What does it technically mean to be a single parent?
Single parents make a half of dating market at least, but this definition is enveloped in many fears and negative myths. Why so? Are we stopping to be sexy when we reproduce?
To answer these and much more questions, we must start from defining what a single parent family is. Is it such a source of problems like selfish people think, or a source of endless joy?
Romantic movies are telling us that a single parent with many kids is the best partner for us: it’s funny, amusing, adventurous, and we’re loved by many persons at once!
As always, the truth is in a middle. From a neutral point of view, a single parent family is with children under age 18 headed by a parent who is widowed, divorced, or never married.
Many variants of such a family status are possible in the US, and all of those variants are accepted, welcomed, and understood by a society. If not by daters without kids.
A phenomenon of a never married father with two or more children, sometimes from different moms, is a norm in the US, UK, Australia, and other western countries.
But it’s a huge surprise for Eastern European countries, for example, where a situation is the opposite and never married or divorced single moms with kids completely prevail.
There are several reasons why a never married man would stay alone with the kids:
· They were in a long yet constantly problematic civil marriage with a kids’ mother, and she eventually left for another man or due to her drinking problems.
· A man’s family was kid-welcoming and wealthy enough to accept children even from his casual relationships, but then a family’s help has gone.
· A man used to be a devoted Christian who’s strictly against the abortion while his wife was ok with leaving them and having her own life.
· Gay or bisexual parents are a separate category. A man could adopt a kid together with his male partner who later changed his decision and left them.
In any case, it almost never happens in a Slavic culture and women there are greatly amazed when they meet such single fathers online. A 50/50 custody is understood, but not a full time custody.
First of all, such a state of things is associated with a man’s inner quality and overall mentality of his country. Men of post-Soviet countries are too busy with partying and loving themselves.
It is impossible to imagine them staying with a child and taking care of him. If it ever happens, their case often ends up in a court with some crime against the child.
While western men manage pretty well and stay within the frames of the law. Although the process of upbringing surely demands from them certain sacrifices of this or that kind.
Why single dads from the West are still desired
Single fathers with a full or a partial custody can often be met on dating sites, including international ones. Logically enough, they have bigger chances on these international platforms.
Although Eastern European, Asian, and Latin brides are acquainted with the American law as well and they realize a man’s budget is mostly covering the children’s needs, they might be interested, still.
Ironically, they wouldn’t be that interested in their local men with several children. But there is a good reasoning for their sincere interest in western men with the kids.
· Western men tend to stay in shape and go to the gym regularly no matter how busy they are with their parenthood. How to resist a youthful and muscled man?
· Western men with the Spanish, Mexican, or Peruvian heritage have such extended families that taking care of children doesn’t take much of their time or efforts.
· Men who have 3-5 kids, may notify their new girlfriend they cannot provide a separate house or luxurious trips, but she can get an assistance in her relocation and setting up.
· A man with several kids who invites a foreign girlfriend to join their family, is basically getting an Au-pair for free. Yet she is interested in free meals and accommodation.
Single parent local dating
Now, what about local dating, is it completely impossible for single fathers to conquer a western woman? It’s true they became too materialistic and ambitious, but exceptions can always happen!
But in general, it became a common practice to date on specialized single parent apps and sites, that are bringing together single mothers and single fathers. Why is this combination perfect?
Every person deserves respect and a decent attitude. It’s in theory; but on the practice, single fathers are considered bankrupts and single mothers are considered money grabbers with a lot of mental baggage.
Both stigmas can be very wrong in each particular case. But who cares? People believe in fake statements accepted by the masses. So it’s safer for single parents to date each other.
· As a classical variant, a man has one child and a woman does as well. Children can make great friends and be less stressed by their parents’ new situation.
· Let’s be honest, single mothers with a cute daughter are more welcomed than those with a teenage son. Men who dreamt about a daughter, or a second daughter, can enjoy.
· Single parents may have their own secrets on how to make their parenthood more comforting, so they share these tips with each other and profit from that.
· There is far more understanding between single parents regarding a common budget that involves children’s interests. While it is usually traumatic for child-free singles.
· Single parents already got used to manage their free time depending on a child’s activities, so they reach a better agreement regarding intimate moments.
· Single parents cherish each other more since they’ve got some negative experience in the past plus some negative esteem from the society. So they don’t want to lose a good thing.
What’s so complicated about single mothers?
Men’s fears connected with single mothers, aren’t only about their emotional baggage from the past. They are mostly about children’s disgrace and ingratitude.
Again, this fear isn’t understood in Eastern European countries, in case you are going to try dating there. Children there are greatly abandoned by their biological fathers and appreciate any attention.
But it isn’t like that in the US where at least 50 percent of men have a strong fatherly instinct and where the law regarding parenthood is so strict. Children are often spoiled and arrogant.
If their real father has done anything for him and/or has qualities to be proud of, kids may underestimate their step-father and especially a non-official lover of their mom.
There must be something wrong in the national mentality because they heavily disregard all financial and other efforts made by this new guy. This is where the negative myth originates from.
But not all children are similar, and even if such cases happened to you, try to date single mothers with non-western roots who recently relocated to the US.
They may appreciate you more for helping them adapt, and their children will obviously have a different mentality so you’re going to finally experience the well-deserved gratitude.
However, the bravest men do not care about other people’s opinion and stereotypes, and date local single mothers without any restrictions, with the utmost success. Become one of them!